Woom Boom in the Tomb
by Romeo Montagew
Summary: Romeo visits Juliet after Balthasar's announcement of her death, but when they get hungry, strange things happen...
Romeo entered the Capulet tomb in order to see his deceased wife one last time after hearing the news from Balthasar that she had passed away. When he was looking over her body, however, he got the grumblies that only Juliet could satisfy.

As he and the mr approached the tomb their hunger only grew. As they broken the chain to the tomb, ballthersasrs's jimmie grow ten sizes. Twas now at an alarming two and a quarter inches and he inched (literally) towards Juliet's body. Her skin was still pink and warm. This was unusual for someone who has been dead for serveral days. He questioned no further and was about to lick the side on juliet's earlobe when Romeo says…

"WHY ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT MY WIFE THAT WAY YOU FUCKING PERVERT?"

"look at her. How can anything thnk hthat;'s attractive? I just wanna lil snack."

"Well guess what, you're not getting one!"

"but rooomeooooooooo pls"

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE BALTHASAR BEFORE I CASTRATE YOU!"

Just then, ballthesaurs bites off juliet's earlobe and spits in at romeo. This shuts him up for now he's arroased.

Ballsamic whispers, "I do what I want."

In the midst of all of this, Lafdy Capulet ascends from Hell itself and questions, "What in God's name is going on here? Please have some respect for the dead!"

"look herr youstank ass hoe, I do what I mofo want and if you don't get the bitch tit outta ghere you gon get snuffed you hear?" ballmasticsdb says.

Ladfyy capulete looks surprised and pulls a gat out of her undercarriage.

She points the weapon at Balthasar, yelling at him "LEAVE AT ONE, AND STOP DESECRATING THE BODY OF MY DAUGHTER. WHEN THE KING FINDS OUT ABOUT HIS, HE WILL EXECUTE YOU AT ONCE!"

"the kig? What u=he gon do bout dis? Where in this entire play is he even mentioned? I mean, you can call lordfuckwad's fine ass ova herr. Id call him daddy anyday. " says baallsthersarus with his hand on his hip and purresed lips.

JUST ASSS HE FINSIHES HIS SPEECH ABOUT THAT FINE ASS MAN ROMEO RIPS OFF JULIETS CLOTHES AND RIPS OFF HER THIRD NIPPLE AND BEATS HER OWN MOTHER WITH IT!

She dies instantly.

"Is that the end?" -The god writing this

"The end of her mother" – the god who is also writing this

In his dreams, Lord Capulet hears a strange bovine say to him, "My man, your lady is dead," but he spoke in Spanish, so it was something more like, "Mi hombre, tu esposa murió."

Startled by this dream, he runs down into the tomb, and lets out a grief-stricken howl when he sees the corpse of the matriarch and the bloodied nipple in Balthasar's hand.

"AHHH I THOUGHT THAT MAN SAID GO TO JULIET'S TOMB AND YOULL GET SOME MOTHERFUCKING CORNDOGS" says the guy

Everyone was confused.

"Yall got any c-orndogs?"

Ballthersaustrs pulls out three and they all eat.

Romeo looks down at his crotch in shame upon realizing that the fried hotdog that he just ate was much bigger than the one-eyed trouser snake he possessed. He looked back up, trying to remain cool about it, trying to hide his shame. It only built, however, as he realised that Juliet had to experience his pitiful excuse for a rooster.

ROMEO THEN KILLED LORD CAPULETETE AND SKULL FUCKED HIM. ROMEO WENT MAD AND SCREAMED LIKE A TURTLE ALL HE RIPPED BALLTHERSAURESES'S HEAD OFF AND PUTS ON A HEADLESS BABY DOLL THE SHOVES THE DOLL UP JULIETS NO PLACE.

Juliet wakes up.

"Romeo, oh Romeo. My love, my heart." Says Juliet shockingly not realizing that she was naked, missing a nipple, her mother being dead, her father's brains splattered on the grouind mixed with cummies, ballthershsduhwis's headless body on the floor and that she was pregnant.

"Oh how I missed you," he says back, opening his arms out for an embrace. Trying his best to make it seem like nothing was wrong, he asks her, "Would you like to get down for brass taxes?"

'sure fameo, lemme just stand up." As she does so, her baby falls out.

Romeo picks it up and exclaims, "It's a boy!"

Soon enough, the Montague's big-ass mouth opens and several rays of nothing shoot out of them, consuming his newborn son.

Juliet friendzones Romeo and then kills herself, for she realizes that marrying him was the dumbest idea of her life.

*Friar enters*

"Yeet"

*Friar exits*


End file.
